In every psychology 101 course, everyone is taught the stages of change; everyone has that brief “a-ha” moment because they realize its relevance for about two seconds but then soon forget it. I’m not going to need to remember this anyway, right? WRONG.
Unless you are working in a field that constantly deals with people’s woes and needs (and in my case that is mental health), the stages of change aren’t as obvious to everyone else. From constantly observing others, I can honestly say that the stages of change are probably the biggest barometer for happiness there is. Once I recognized this, I realized an even bigger realization: change is the catalyst for happiness thus change is a choice; HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.
Mind blowing, right? So call me professor today because these are the five stages of change and how they look within the scope of our choices, goals, and happiness.
1. Precontemplation- In this stage, to you (and only you), there is no problem but to everyone else, it’s super obvious there is a problem. You are always whining about this and that; but it’s really your life, so you say to hell with everyone else’s opinions because you are fine, fine, fine. In this stage, you just aren’t aware yet that you aren’t “fine” and because you are so oblivious, the complaining persists, you continue to justify your life choices, and your world keeps running as business as usual. NOTHING changes. And the worst part is that everyone else has to still listen to you bitch and moan … and you don’t have a problem? Sureeee… denial is a river in Egypt.
2. Contemplation- This stage sounds a little like this “Ugh, I really need to lose weight; I’ll start right after this Big Mac.” In contemplation, you recognize that you have a problem; you have some insight that you need to change because you’re not happy being overweight, sick, broke, etc. Unfortunately, you’re not quite ready to take the steps necessary to really make things happen yet. In reality, most people usually get stuck in this stage. People are creatures of habit and most don’t like change because it can be scary; you might fail; or whatever excuse you came up with that ultimately means “I’m not ready yet.” Excuses, however, don’t make change and things ultimately remain the same or even get worse. I am pretty sure that this is how debt, obesity, and chronic diseases happen.
3. Preparation- Preparation is just that. You have the insight; you are done with excuses; you have done your research; you are excited; and you are motivated to GET IT DONE. You are the making the conscious choice that it is now or never, and you are ready to get on the road to meet Mo.
4. Action- Everyone who is reading this is probably wondering who the heck Mo is and I promise to explain. Right now, I am reading the book The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy and Mo is a reference to Newton’s First Law of Motion. And for those of you who didn’t pay attention in Physics class in high school, that law states “that a body in motion will stay in motion” --- or momentum, Mo for short. Mo is the perfect analogy for action. You have prepared and now you are putting forth conscious effort to make the necessary changes to reach your goals. If you are trying to lose weight, you have started counting calories , eating cleaner and working out. If you are trying to get out of debt, you have started tracking your spending, cut down on your expenditures, and are starting to pay off those bills. Whatever your goal is, you are putting in work. You have met Mo.
5. Maintenance- This stage always reminds me of the Superbowl when they say “you have won the Superbowl, what are you going to do next?” And the obvious reply is, “I’m going to Disney World!” To me, “winning the Superbowl” is reaching your goal. You are happier, healthier, and are proud of your accomplishment so you “go to Disney World;” you celebrate reaching that goal weight, eliminating debt, landing your dream job, whatever it is. You worked hard and you definitely deserve. But what happens after “Disney World”? The answer to that my friends is maintenance. You do everything in your power to make sure that your efforts don’t go to waste and that you can stay this happy because you never want to go back to the way things were.
All of us have goals and dreams; it is human nature to want and want. So I have to ask, which one of the five stages are you in when it comes to what you want? I’m not going to act like I have it all figured out; there are things in my life that are not perfect but I am definitely working on getting to where I want to be, and I am genuinely happy and excited to do the work. Can you say the same?
Ria xx
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